Do you really want to make a change?

Some clients come to coaching because they are committed to making a change in their life. Some are sent for coaching because their manager or organisation wants them to change. The reality is like that well known saying – you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

The coach is not a magician who waves a magic wand, and the client is changed! Coaching is about a trusted partnership between the client and coach, who work together on the journey of change. The change needs to be driven by the client objectives. The organisation may share their objectives with the client and the coach and these will be taken into the engagement. However, the extent to which the client is committed to those objectives will influence the outcome.

If you think you want to make a change in your life you should consider the following questions that you will be asked by your coach.

  • What is your objective/goal that is bringing you to coaching? The initial stated objective rarely turns out to be the real one. As you start to explore more deeply, the real issues start to emerge.
  • What would be the benefit to you if you achieve this objective? Helping you to create a vision of what the future would look like makes it more tangible. It helps you to unpack the real value of achieving this objective. Take time and see not only the short-term benefits, but also the long-term ones that it can lead to.
  • What are the challenges or difficulties that you may face in making this change? Change is not easy; it is often uncomfortable, so it is good to be prepared. Like starting a new exercise routine or habit, it takes time to implement new thinking and behaviours. You need to be kind to yourself as you go through the process.
  • How will this change impact on those around you? When you change, they have to change in the way that they react to you. E.g. if you start saying ‘no’ to others and ‘yes’ to yourself first, they may not be so pleased!

We call coaching a journey because that is what it is – aiming for a destination which is sometimes clear and at other times more like a road trip that takes on a life of its own, with new sights to see and learnings along the way.

In the first stage of working with your coach it helps you both to be clear on where the journey is heading. The reality is that as you go on the journey you may take a couple of detours, cul-de-sacs, and times on the hard shoulder as you explore and experiment with the new insights and perspectives that you gain.

When describing coaching to individuals and organizations, we always highlight that coaching has intended outcomes (goals and objectives set) and unintended consequences. New insights may send you off in a different direction. Clients have had realisations that they were putting off doing things until some time in the future, when in fact they could do them now. Some have found that the relationships they were struggling to repair were in fact some they had outgrown or that were in fact holding them back.

The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.


So again, we ask the question – do you want to change? The second most important question is how much do you want it. Last month we talked about energy. Change takes energy and commitment. The higher the value of the goals, the more energy you will be prepared to dedicate to achieving them.

If you want change, we are here to support you. Contact us on: or visit our website and let’s explore your appetite for change.

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