Are You the Real Deal?
Many of our clients in leadership positions, or about to step into leadership, tell us that their goal is to “be an authentic leader.”
But what does that actually mean? Is it about being real, or about being reliably predictable?
Most leaders say they want to be consistent: to always show up the same way, to manage their emotions, to model steady behaviour. Admirable intentions but perhaps a little too tidy.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines authenticity as “the quality of being real or true. ” Consistency, on the other hand, means “the state or condition of always happening or behaving in the same way.”
Those aren’t the same thing and confusing them can quietly flatten your leadership.
The Value – and the Trap – of Consistency
There is nothing more likely to erode trust in a team than a leader who is unpredictable or plays favourites. Fairness demands consistency in principles, not sameness in personality.
If team members wait to see what mood the boss is in today before they speak up, psychological safety disappears, and so does performance.
So yes, consistency matters. But it is not the same as authenticity.
Authenticity isn’t a Performance
Being authentic is not about holding a fixed pose or pretending that everything’s fine when it isn’t. It’s about being congruent so that your words, emotions and actions are aligned in the moment, even when they’re uncomfortable or messy.
Too much “consistency” can turn into a mask: one-dimensional leadership, rigid adherence to a single style, or faking calm to avoid conflict.
As Brené Brown reminds us,
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real – the choice to be honest, the choice to let our true selves be seen.”
That’s not easy work. It asks for courage and self-awareness, not polish or perfection.
Being Real Means Being Whole
Authenticity is about allowing the many parts of yourself to be visible: the serious you, the playful you, the reflective you, the driven you.
A colleague once told us she worried what clients might think if they saw her laughing and dancing at a party. But why shouldn’t they see that? Wholeness doesn’t threaten professionalism; it humanises it.
Our authentic selves show up differently in different contexts. The key is not to suppress those variations but to choose them consciously. Ask yourself:
Who do I want to be right now?
What version of me will serve this situation best, while staying true to my values?
As Herminia Ibarra puts it,
“Being authentic doesn’t mean being the same all the time. It means being true to your values, not to your comfort zone.”
That distinction matters. Authenticity is dynamic, not static. It evolves as you do.
The Power of Being Real
People can sense when you are real. They lean in. They trust. They follow. Share your successes and your struggles as it builds connection, credibility, and confidence.
“Fake it till you make it” might get you through a presentation, but it won’t sustain relationships. People’s radar for inauthenticity is finely tuned and once you lose trust, you lose the room.
So, are you the real deal?
Not the polished, always-together version but the human one. The leader who shows up as themselves gives others permission to do the same.
At Chameleon Skills, we see authenticity as part of an ecosystemic journey where every part of you influences the systems you lead and live within.
Our EAGER framework – Engage, Agreement, Growth, Evaluation & Review, Re-energise – helps leaders explore those layers, integrate their “many selves,” and build the kind of trust that transforms teams and organisations.
If you’d like to explore how to lead more authentically and help your people do the same, we’d love to start that conversation. Why not get in touch?
Please contact us at Info@chameleonskills.com or visit our website for more information.